Sex On the Second Date
I recently had drinks with a handful of acquaintances that I haven’t seen since the COVID-19 lockdowns started in March 2020.
We were laughing about how good it was to be out socializing, after months in isolation, and sharing our experiences of life in quarantine.
“It sucked, but I saved A TON of money during the lockdown”, I offered.
“Really, …how?” one of the guys asked.
“Dude, I was going out on 3- 4 dates a week”, I explained. “I do drinks for a first date, but $30- 40, three times a week, really adds up”.
“THREE DATES A WEEK?!”, another buddy exclaimed.
His eyebrows flew up and his eyes widened in a look of surprise. “Do you have a system or something?!”.
“…Not exactly…,”
I shrugged and waved the bartender over for another round.
Even Handsome Guys Get This Wrong
This particular guy is decent looking. He has a smooth, dark chocolate complexion, similar to mine. He’s clean cut, fit, and athletic, about 5’10.
Physically, he’s attractive. He just turned 30 a few months ago. Barely out of his 20s, he’s still in that small window where women have the upper hand in the dating market.
I also know that he tends to push women away by over pursuing and seeming needy. This is a common mistake that leaves many handsome guys wondering why they fail with women.
My success with women was amazing to him.
I’m used to it by now, but I still remember how it feels to get shot down and flaked on 99 times out of 100. (See my post What to Do When Women Flake).
I’d never thought of my dating style as a “system”, but, on second thought, he’s right.
Any set of behaviors that produces a consistent result is a “system”. Repeating the same actions repeats the same outcomes, over and over and over.
My system is interacting with women in a way that ends predictably in sex on the second date, or third date.
This is something a lot men need to understand:
If it’s not clicking physically with a woman by Date #3, accept that she’s not interested, and move on.
The System
This is the MOST IMPORTANT principle of my “System”:
I’m an expert at identifying women that have a high level of attraction towards me.
Every man is going to have some percentage of women that just like him, right off the bat.
It could be his body type, his style, his eyes, his sense of humor- anything.
Certain women will see you and instantly feel an attraction, and want to get to know you better.
Through the dating process, you simply raise her attraction level until she can’t take it anymore- she pounces on you, and the passionate lovemaking begins. See my post “Why Men Go On Dates”.
Obviously, dating and seducing women that are already very interested in you is MUCH easier than trying to convince, persuade, and cajole a low interest woman to give you a chance.
Focus on the women that like you, and walk away from anything less.
You will sleep with more women in 2 months of dating women that already have high interest in you,
than you would in 5 YEARS of chasing women that barely text you back.
High Interest vs. Low Interest
When women go out of their way to show me they are attracted to me, I hone in like a missile and start my seduction process.
This is how it will look before the first date:
Examples of high interest:
Messaging me first (dating apps)
Replying to texts quickly
Good energy in her responses
Making herself available for the first date easily
When I get signals like this, it’s game time.
Examples of low interest/ disinterest:
texting/ messaging back slowly (taking hours or days, or not at all)
dry, one or two word responses when she does hit you back
being difficult to set a date with (Phrases like “my schedule is crazy”, “I don’t know when I’m free…”, etc are dead giveaways that she doesn’t like you)
Not offering a time when she is available
Behaviors like this show that a woman is not interested.
She may be seeing someone else.
She may be bored at work and only stringing you along for something to do.
If you even get her to set a date, she will most likely flake, or only meet up because she has nothing else going on that day.
Men that are frustrated with women are spending too much time on women that never liked them to begin with.
I can’t stress this enough:
A woman that likes you will make it EASY for you to see her.
These are the ONLY women you should be dealing with.
If she’s busy one day, she’ll offer another time, or even cancel on her other plans to meet up with you.
The Key
The reason why I get sex on the second date, EVERY TIME, is that I only date women that are already showing high interest.
I wouldn’t be able to sleep with women on date #2 if I was wasting time with women that were barely attracted to me, and only meeting up because they had nothing better to do.
You don’t have to be the MOST ATTRACTIVE, MOST SUCCESSFUL, MOST AMAZING man on the planet.
I’ve worked hard to improve myself to the best of my ability, but I’m certainly not any of those things.
The one thing that separates me from frustrated men that buy tons of expensive dinners, but never get pussy,
is that I focus on women that are highly attracted to me- and ignore everyone else.
I learned this from Corey Wayne’s book, “How to Be A 3% Man”.
It seems obvious, but so many goofy romantic movies show a woman initially reject a man, only to be “won over” by his persistence.
After 90 minutes of antics and grand gestures, the beautiful woman that initially blew him off suddenly falls in love.
Sappy movies program men to over pursue.
This a waste of energy and time; it also NEVER works in real life.
Attraction Is Not A Choice. Women are the selective sex, and there’s nothing you can do if a woman doesn’t feel a spark when she looks at you.
Step 1: Look Good
The most crucial aspect of my system is to be the best looking version of yourself that you can possibly be.
Low body fat
Haircut that looks good on you, or shave your head if you’re going bald
Neat facial hair. Studies show that feminine women prefer facial hair on a man.
Pick a “look”. That is, choose a personal style that communicates who you are and amplify it. (For example, a skater look, clean cut, outdoorsy, tattooed biker, etc.)
The most important aspect of this is that you are athletic and visibly in good shape (broad shoulders, flat stomach, developed arms) and your clothes fit well.
Step 2: Killer Instinct
Chris Deoundes of GoodLookingLoser.com calls this “killer instinct”. It means that you develop a highly acute radar for women that like you.
He’s done several excellent posts on the subject of being good at finding women that like you, then being aggressive with them to get them into bed as quickly as possible.
With his technique, explored in posts like this one, he encourages readers to escalate physically and go for sex within minutes.
I prefer sex on the second date more than the first, unless the chemistry is amazing, like the time I went out with a smoking hot sex worker. Read "5 Things I Learned About Game From Dating A Sex Worker".
Frankly, I want to feel the woman out and make sure she’s not crazy. I let her talk on the first date and look for any red flags.
Get Her Comfortable
The other reason that second date sex works is that it stops me from being Just Another Horny Guy trying to fuck her on the first date.
I’m not even trying to sleep with a woman, or even touch her, on our first meeting.
I let her talk, without moving in to make a move like a thirsty simp.
My energy is relaxed, calm, and centered.
Women can sense this. It sets me apart from all the other men she’s known since puberty who were just trying to get in her pants.
I focus on making her comfortable by asking questions she would enjoy answering (textbook Corey Wayne), being charming, and opening her up. See my post “3 Books To Improve Your Dating and Sex Life”.
As Coach Corey Wayne says,
“When women feel heard, and understood, their legs open.”
So I ask how she got involved in her career or major, what she does for fun.
I ask about her dogs, her hometown, anything.
I’ve made myself into a man that is attractive to lots of women.
I can afford to take my time, be picky, and get what I want.
For men interested in racking up notches just for the sport of it, I highly recommend GoodLookingLoser as a resource. especially the posts about being aggressive with women.
The fact that I’m not trying to fuck a woman on the first date
Allows me to be relaxed and charming
Gets my date comfortable and builds attraction even more
Creates an air of mystery. I’m simply talking and getting to know her, not even trying to kiss her.
This is very different to how most men behave on dates, and it CONFUSES women, in a GOOD WAY.
They can’t figure me out. I’m a mystery, like a cliffhanger ending to a movie.
Step 3: Set Definite Dates
Set definite dates. No hemming and hawing. Don’t “get to know her”, and don’t think you can build rapport on the phone through texts.
Send 2- 3 messages, then ask when she’s free to get together.
She’ll say which evenings she’s available (only do evening dates, especially just starting out), tell her where to be and what time. Then get off the phone.
You are not going to charm a woman’s panties off with your witty “text game”, so don’t try.
Make the date, then say, “Awesome. I’ve got to get back to work. I’ll see you (whatever day)”.
This builds mystery as the woman wonders about you. It makes her like you more. As she thinks about you, her emotions get engaged and the anticipation builds.
This is also textbook Corey Wayne. I’ll say again that I can’t recommend his book enough.
In Conclusion
By applying this system, especially on dating apps, you will EASILY be able to set 3- 4 dates a week, even more.
I was working a full time job and lifting weights 6 days a week during this time, so 4 dates a week was the max I could fit into my schedule. As an introvert, that much social interaction was more than enough for me anyway.
I had more dates (sex) than I knew what to do with, and barely time for anything else.
-Solitary Beast